So therefore, in the spirit of the season, I have decided to share my own Top 10 list of gifts that I would like to suggest putting under one’s tree:
1. A selfie-to-end-all selfies, from either Santa Claus or Mrs. Claus.
2. Congress discovering what it truly means to be a nation founded on liberty and justice for all—with all the duties and responsibilities that go with it.
3. Samuel Adams’ brewing company introducing a new line of beer – Benjamin Franklin Stout! Even though, as I wrote earlier, the erroneous quotation regarding beer that has been attributed to me is not a true indication of my tastes, I will bow to popular opinion and indulge in this light-hearted tomfoolery.
4. Election of the next president of the United States from the opposite gender – after more than 200 years of male leaders, I strongly believe it is time for a woman’s touch in the White House.
5. Some better pictures of yours truly, to replace all the grim-looking official portraits that are found all over this nation, including that awful depiction on the $100 bill. I have had a reputation for being witty and amusing, you know.
6. A radical transformation in the pursuit of diplomacy, based on a more equitable, win-win approach, rather than power politics and “winner takes all,” which our American government has unfortunately perpetuated through the years. (Trying to find common ground is what I always sought when practicing the art of diplomacy myself, in those years serving as either official or unofficial ambassador.)
7. Publication of a new generation of almanacs, in digital form rather than print, and distributed over what you call the internet. The first one to be launched could be named “Poor Barack’s Almanack.”
8. A return to true middle class values, based in large part upon increasing the number of honorable, decently-paying jobs that are based in this country, rather than abroad. The slow descent into poverty that America’s middle class has been experiencing can certainly be doing no one any good.
9. Free kites for all, complete with sufficient string to reach into the stratosphere (but not high enough to get entangled with Amazon drones) and real metallic keys (not those cheap, lightweight imitations), so that a new source of renewable energy can be tapped – just imagine lightning powered smartphones, tablets, and computers, powered from “the cloud”!
10. Peace on earth, and good will towards all!
Now, with that list done, I shall eagerly retire to my study and catch up on a little light reading. Has anybody seen my copy of “George Washington’s Secret Six”?
Your humble servant,