Many of you, my dear readers, probably know me as "that Founding Father" who's a real foodie — the massive midsection on all my official portraits might lead you to think that.
I actually came by my extra weight quite honestly. Too many dinners on the road, at various diplomatic functions, or on the expense account, especially when traveling to places like England and France! What else are you going to do... tell your hosts, "no, I'm sorry, I'm on a diet?"
In any event, some of your modern day 21st century physicians have made it abundantly clear that carrying all that extra poundage puts one at greater risk, health-wise. So, in the interests of prolonging my time among you in this amazing world of the future, I've decided to embark on a journey of weight management. And one of the first steps I'm taking is to climb on a clever new invention that someone's come up with, called an "exercycle." Absolutely ingenious! I can actually pedal away the pounds, I'm told.
The only trouble is, this "exercycle" invention is a stationary device. That means, I can pedal all I want, but I essentially go nowhere. (Sounds a little like the situation of the nation at the present time!) This does tend to get rather boring, I confess.
So I may have to combine my pedaling with some other activity such as perusing some of those things you call "TV shows." For example, something called "Saturday Night Live" has proven to be quite entertaining, particularly in its parodies of the present administration. "West Wing" is another interesting program — although I would wonder how the present occupants of the real West Wing would compare with the fictional variety in terms of cutthroat practices, ineptitude, intrigues, and such. It would seem to be that in either case, throwing the scoundrels out would be the best solution, in my opinion.
Your humble servant,