It is a marvelous invention, however, regardless of when it was first made. (For someone like myself who enjoys outings with the opposite gender, it could provide excellent opportunities for both conversation and exercise, especially in the fresh air, which I am a big proponent of.)
Of course, like many things in this amazing 21st century world of yours, this ordinary object also offers a great transition (is this what you future folks call a “segue”?) to another topic near and dear to my heart: politics.
Like riding a bicycle, it takes a certain amount of skill to navigate the unpredictable realm of politics. If you move too slowly, you’ll be run over by those who are more adept, impatient, or competitive. If you go too fast, you run the risk of mowing down innocent victims in your path. And if you like to proceed at a normal, leisurely pace, taking in the scenery, chatting with a companion, or simply being “one with the road,” then you are in danger of angering and frustrating those who are not of a similar mind.
Once you set out on a bicycle journey (or a career in politics), I should add, you are steering down a “slippery slope.” Usually, there’s no turning back. Unless, of course, you commit some egregious error (like lying, cheating, stealing, philandering, treason, outright ignorance or incompetence, etc.) As typically happens, one mistake becomes compounded into many, and before you know it, you’re careening down a hillside, totally out of control, headed for the inevitable, inescapable, bloody crash at the bottom.
If you think you have powers and abilities far beyond those of regular mortals, you could always try biking on water, I suppose. A splash landing is a bit gentler than a rocky, flesh-rending one. But like walking on water, it too has its drawbacks. Once you become known for it, then everyone will forever have expectations of your performing miracles at every drop of a hat. And woe be to you if you should fail in their eyes.
And worst of all, there is that ever-present chance you’ll blunder into some surprise sinkhole or hidden, watery abyss that swallows you whole, never to be heard from again.
Ah, such is the life of a politician, my friends. And the wheels just keep on turning…
Your humble servant,